“Not-Just-For-Profit”

What is the secret of your personal success? There are some standard answers: knowing your craft, knowing your audience, grit, hard work, vision. The men and women I’ve been training would add to that list stuff like meaning, contribution, making things better along with having fun and making money. In the words of the sage, Jerry Seinfeld, “You can’t do good work if you’re not excited.” In a recent interview I called my work “effortless hard work,” I think that’s because every day I get to learn new things, and every day I get to watch people find ways to make their lives a bit richer–even in this tough economic climate. I keep a running list of some of my favorite resources on my website.

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“Validation”

I loved this video–Bet you will too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

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The Next SeattleCoach Training Group Begins in April

The SeattleCoach Training Program is still in its first year and already our hallmarks are quality and community. The (amazing) leaders and managers who are a part of this program fall into three categories:

1. some come with the support of their organizations with the goal of returning to build strong internal “coaching cultures,”
2. some are considering a new career as a Professional Coach, and
3. some are already in a leadership role and are challenging themselves to “raise the bar” on their expertise as a manager.

If you are thinking about your own next steps, call me and we can talk about it.
FYI, the SeattleCoach Training Program includes seventy-four hours of coach-specific training and is accredited by the International Coach Federation.

(To post a comment, first click on the post headline).

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Coachable Issues

During the 1980s I spent a lot of time in the former Soviet Union, quietly running a student exchange program. In that bloated, bureaucratic police state and economic dead-zone, signs of life kept strolling up to me: Hip, young, hopeful Russians and Ukrainians who risked arrest or deportation just by talking with me and asking to buy my stuff and sell me theirs. The Soviets warned travelers again these “criminals,” and some were. But in general, their essential hustle and optimism in that tough economy were compelling to me. Fast-forward to another tough and unusual economy. We’ve all got less money and more anxiety than we did a year ago, but my phone keeps ringing. With a nod to some of my old Russian and Ukrainian acquaintances, here are a few of the top “Coach-able Issues” I’m working on with people:

1. Keeping your job by staying essential.
2. Getting really defined and deliberate about what you want to offer and how you want to offer it.
3. Staying positive and energized.
4. Staying connected to and networked with friends and allies.

As always, I’m leading lots of groups. Good groups are cost effective, supportive and, I believe, a little magical. I’ll be starting more “coach-able issues groups” in the coming month. Be in touch if you’d like to join with other great people to work on some of your own “coachable issues.”

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Here We Go Again

So here we are at the start of a new year with way less money than we had last January, and way more reasons to worry about big and little things. Depending on how you look at it, for most of us in the Northwest, the winter storms that hit us were either a disaster (“snow-mageddon!” “snow-pocalypse!”) or an inescapable slow-down for the holidays.

Not to sound too cheery, but the snow did remind me that it does come down to how you look at it.

One of my favorite clients observed last week that daily resolutions to live with intention and gratitude were making more sense to him than heroic new year’s resolutions. And I’m taking his advice for 2009.

Here’s my challenge to you. As your eyes open each morning, put a hand on your heart and take a deep breath. Take a few seconds to settle on a simple intention for the day–like laughing out-loud at least once–and another few seconds to give thanks for something or someone.

Maybe in the face of all the fearful news, we’ll cultivate a different way of seeing.

And if you’d like to try my slightly longer version a breathing-and-rebalancing exercise, just go to my website and then click on audio player at the top of the page.

Happy New Year. Really.

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A Five-Minute Holiday Oasis

Christmas is a time when I know I have to take a little extra time to breathe. Whether it’s good stress or the difficult kind, I get smarter and happier when I take a few minutes to “rebalance.”

I invite you to try an exercise I teach my coaching clients as they practice
breathing differently and “rebalancing” in the middle of these busy days. I can almost guarantee that your pulse will calm down, along with your blood pressure, and that you might even get a little smarter and happier too. To listen to my five-minute audio file, click here and then click on the Christmas tree that appears.

This has been a great year of learning and growth for me. To all of my clients, thank you for your trust. I love working with you and for you.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

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An Extraordinary Week

Yes, an extraordinary week. Maybe you’re among the elated. Maybe you’re with the dejecteds. After three days (so far) of conversations with people in both groups I see some common threads:

1. At either far ends of the spectrum is the sense that a political personality or persuasion gets the responsibility–along with the credit or the blame–for what happens next.
2. Also, I’ve noticed that the more we focus on news and opinion sources–without a break every few days–the more likely we’ll be to get polarized.
3. And the more polarized we get, the less likely we are to get new feedback.
4. And from my coach’s pov, now is when it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that no one else can finally fix or derail our lives or even our circumstances. My life with all of its complexity and shadows will always be my greatest resource, even as I grow more interdependent with others.

So. This weekend, I think I’ll turn off the news and combine fresh air with some of my favorite questions:

• What will you do next? What possibilities are now available to you?
• With whom will you spend more time?
• With whom will you reduce time?
• What are the core values that you feel passionately–and want to speak fluently–about?
• Will you speak of “the other side” as adversaries and objects? or as people with their own hopes and fears and wisdom?

Your thoughts?

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An October We Won’t Soon Forget

I bet you’re either glued to the news, or you’ve made yourself stop watching altogether. Personally I’ve made several resolutions this week—in both directions. As I write this on Friday afternoon, I’ve decided to watch for a minute—just in time to read, “DOW HAS IT’S WORST WEEK EVER.” Enough.

As I’ve met with clients and coaches-in-training this week, I’ve asked them how they’re doing in the midst of this perfect storm, and how they’re advising their own hearts. Here is some of what I’ve heard:

• “I don’t want my basic optimism about life to be a casualty, but that is taking extra attention—it takes my slowing down and listening more instead of reacting.”

• “I’ve got to make extra certain that I’m offering my best to my work. People will always want my best.”

• “My spouse and I talked last night about the values that keep us together as a team.”

• “Better not quit my day job yet.”

• “I’ve got to stop listening to that critical voice that’s yammering about woulda-coulda-shoulda. It doesn’t help—in fact, it makes me feel stuck.”

• “Moving toward work that I love is becoming more compelling—since I’ll probably be doing it for more years than I’d planned.”

If you’ve got a bit of your own wisdom, angst, questions to add to the list, please do.

Until next month.

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Thank you Banner Burgin

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Banner Burgin, therapy dog and canine coach, passed away on Saturday, August 30. She died like we’d all like to—she was happy and taking old-dog walks on Tuesday, but collapsed on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday, she welcomed visitors who came to sit on the floor with her, touching her, and telling her repeatedly how good she was. The last part to slow down continued to wag every hour or so. Then, this morning we said goodbye.

In October her ashes will blow down the beach at Oysterville with the same happy, frantic, random purpose in which she used to run.

To read the full story and see some of my favorite pics, check out her webpage: http://www.seattlecoach.com/banner.html

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How to be a Vigorous Geezer

I listened a few days ago to an interview with an 83-year-old self-described geezer (aka “sage”) in the world of leadership development, Warren Bennis. He is currently Professor and founding chair of The Leadership Institute at the University of Southern California, and the author of 29 books. He brought up a subject I’ve thought about for at least thirty years: What can I do now that will lead to my growing into an optimistic, generous and vigorous geezer?

No one gets to his/her eighties without weathering a few difficult, life-defining events. So what makes some geezers hopeful, optimistic, challenged (and challenging) and “open to the unbidden?”

Just as important, what habits can pre-geezers build into our lives now so that our eyebrows are still up when we begin our eighth or ninth decade of life?

Acknowledging that he was “no longer on the varsity”, he talked about how he continues to contribute via “what life has pulled out of me.” I picked out four suggestions to pass along to you:

1. Use your creativity to inspire and your mind to invent; keeping asking, “What is possible?”
2. Make yourself not alone,
3. Be a first-class noticer and responder; practice just being aware,
4. Start now to diminish drivenness.

My own personal action point? To let my life keep growing, knowing that if I have to let go of something I used to be great at, I’ll be making room for some new adventure to take its place.

Eyebrows up!

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Announcing a New SeattleCoach Training Group

Do you already feel like a coach yourself?

Many of the leaders, managers, pastors and counselors I’m in touch with resonate with my work because they are called on to use coaching skills in their own work.

So this year I launched my first SeattleCoach Training Group with five accomplished, strengths-based and optimistic professionals.

And I will soon launch a second group. If you are a manager, leader, pastor or counselor who is ready to expand your expertise with a solid and practical grip on the essentials of good coaching, this could be for you.

Contact me directly for an informational interview.

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Coachable Issues: Getting Unstuck

I’m an executive and personal coach. And business people who long to be more accomplished communicators keep showing up in my office—managers, marketers and masterminds.

I love their imagination and energy, their devotion to their craft, and their commitment to employees, colleagues and customers. And I get it when they’re frustrated and stuck–when their internal and/or external communication efforts get sluggish. As it turns out, being stuck is a very coachable issue.

Success rarely comes in a blinding flash, nor do most people stumble upon it. If you’re reading this, you know that you’ve chosen the conditions for your success, over and over again, in thin slices. And now, after hundreds of good decisions and choices (and a few duds) about your colleagues, your values and the integrated balance between your work and the rest of your life you know from experience what I’m talking about.

But even successful people hit stuck spots.

Sometimes the stuck place is in your physical environment. So I get curious with people about that “slice”: The what, where, when and how of your work. Together, we design experiments that will widen your assumptions and awareness: “Just because (fill in the name of your favorite business leader or writer here) does it that way . . .”

Sometimes the stuck place is elsewhere in your life, so we explore those slices too. These are Seven Questions I get the most revealing answers to:

1. To whom and for whom are you directing your message?
2. How is your support system?
3. Would a little coaching on the craft of communication help?
4. How’s your sense of mission and contribution in your life and work? Big enough?
5. What do you get excited about?
6. Are you worried about money?
7. How’s your fitness?

And we use deadlines as goals. Whether it’s your weekly staff meeting, an upcoming networking event, a pitch, an article for Biznik or the emotional goal of publishing a great personal story by the end of the year, we use those deadlines to pull us forward.

Like a lot of people in Seattle, one of my favorite clients, Mike, was resplendently gifted, great at his craft and making enough money. But like a lot of people in Seattle, Mike had gotten a little bored and felt sluggish in his communication as a leader in his business. His people were inspirable and responsive, his relationship was solid, the money was fine, and he told me, “I think I’m happy, but it’s been a long time since I was excited. I wonder what kind of legacy I’m leaving.” Mike’s fortieth birthday was right around the corner—“halfway through.”

I asked Mike to spend some quality time with my Seven Questions, and then, based on his answers, we collaborated on some clear goals and got to work.

Whether or not you think of yourself as a communicator, I bet you’ve experienced being “stuck” personally or professionally. Carve out some time to hang out with my Seven Questions. And let me know which ones stop you and then challenge you.

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Coach-able Issues

Last month one of you guys wrote to ask, “Patty, I get the difference between coaching and mental health counseling. But what do you think of as a ‘coach-able’ issue?”

Instantly, a bunch of well-loved faces (and their “coach-able” issues) came to my mind. Here’s one of them . . .

New client Dave called me last month feeling derailed on his career path. A director at one of Seattle’s big companies, he’d felt on track to become a vice president. But that morning his boss had told him, nope, no VP job was in the works for him. Yet.

But his boss also made him an interesting offer: She’d pay for him to come see me for a few months. Clearly, the boss values Dave and not only wants to keep him on board, but to invest in him as a leader with potential. This is executive coaching and it’s full of “Coach-able” goals.

Both Dave and his boss are involved and excited about the goals we’ve set. We’re getting feedback from the people who work with and report to him and I can tell Dave’s pleased and honored with this opportunity. Already I see him changing his life and professional performance (and satisfaction!).

I’ll write more about “coachable-goals” next time. If you think you’ve got one, call me for a free consultation

Quote of the month: Vocation “is that place where your great joy meets the world’s great need.”
Fredrick Buechner

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This Blog’s For You

Every month I hear amazing stories from you guys about your wins, setbacks, contemplations, learnings, connections and transformative conversations. And not a week goes by that I don’t want to pass along one of those great stories. This stuff is just too rich not to get more air time! So I’m creating this blog as a place for you to bring your learnings and questions, hunches and conversations.

You’ve probably noticed that I’ve loaded up my website, www.seattlecoach.com with the kitchen sink: information, resources and ideas. If that’s the library, the blog is where I want to invite you come for coffee and conversation.

Throughout my life I’ve led groups where members have learned stuff from me. But my group members have also challenged, supported and inspired each other. It’s the challenge, support and inspiration that bring the magic to our growth. I want to see if we can create that dynamic now, not only in my in-person and teleconferencing groups, but via this blog.

So this blog’s for you. I invite you to share what you’re learning with this wider forum. If you’re just beginning your work of major transition and growth, welcome aboard!

To start, think about your own transition. Are you a) in the middle of one, b) just finished one, or c) have this sneaking suspicion that one is right around the corner. And then post your response!

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Listening to Your Restlessness

Have you ever stayed in a job just a little too long? Ignored your restlessness? Here’s how you do it.

Staying too long usually begins with some great experiences: Good people, opportunity and challenge, maybe some interesting travel. But you keep growing and changing—and maybe your company doesn’t grow and change in the same direction or depth. So you get a little uneasy and restless, and you start thinking about the whats and wheres and hows of your next steps. But you’re stubborn and loyal. So you decide to stay a little bit longer, trying several strategies over a period of months or even years.

Speaking from experience, I stubbornly tried the following strategies in my own staying-a-little-to-long-in-a-job phase several years ago. In retrospect, they were each necessary and refining in my own desires and process.

1. I questioned myself. “Come on Patty! Just comply with the way this place works.”

2. I tweaked my responsibilities. I found ways to spend more of my time doing the parts of the job I was still excited about.

3. I tried to keep learning skills and depth of character—even in the face of things that I was having a hard time reconciling.

4. And I tried just making other parts of my life better and richer so that I could demand less of my work hours.

Though each of those strategies was useful for a time, none was a permanent fix. In the final year or so I began to find ways to respect and pay attention to my restlessness in some new ways. Then I began to turn my stubbornness towards my own next steps which included leaving graciously and entering a new chapter of my life’s work.

If you can relate, or if you have questions, I invite you to join this month’s SeattleCoach Conference Call.

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Quote of the Month

In a Norwegian fairy tale, a hero comes to a crossroads where there are three signs. The first sign says, “He who travels down this road will return unharmed and unchanged.” The second says, “He who travels this path has the option of returning, and may or may not returned unharmed and unchanged.” The third sign says, “He who travels here will never return and will most assuredly be profoundly changed.”

Which road would you choose this month?

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Super Tuesday

IN THIS ISSUE:

• Feature: Super Tuesday

• Story of the month

• Quote of the Month

• Q&A

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Super Tuesday

It’s Super Tuesday and, like you I’ve been listening to candidates’ speeches—listening for the stuff I can get behind. No one candidate has a corner on my personal market, but these are some of the convictions that get my Coach-like attention when I hear them:

1. The world, and our individual lives, works best when we each take personal responsibility for our “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. (Much better than delegating or abdicating that responsibility).

2. The best products and services are produced by people who are doing #1.

3. The most fulfilling compensation (financial and otherwise) results from #1 and #2.

4. And it’s necessary to invest in staying safe from beliefs and philosophies and actions that focus on blocking, controlling or destroying #1, #2, and #3.

Knowing you, you’ll have your own convictions to add, but those four are on my mind this Super-Tuesday morning. Let me know what you think.

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Story of the Month: Points #1-#4 in action

The little beach community where there’s been a Burgin Beach House for most of the past forty years experienced a hurricane on December. For two days the wind blew steadily at 85 mph, gusting to 130 mph. Most people lost power, trees, news and the ability to travel for most of a week. They leaned on each other as the work of rebuilding began to come into focus.

In response, a few citizens called a “Storm Community Open Forum”, and 350 of their neighbors showed up.

They met in the elementary school and broke into twenty-four small groups discussing everything from trees to emergency supply kits to how to keep track of their senior citizens and people with disabilities. Also they had a potluck. To read their story and their next steps as a community, check out their blog: www.eyeofthestormforum.blogspot.com.

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Quote of the Month

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

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Q&A

Ask the Coach . . .

Do you have questions about working with a coach, or just pursuing more happiness in your life? Please send them to me. I can’t do this Q&A thing without your Q’s.

Q. I don’t live in Seattle. Can I still work with you?

Dear “SeattleCoach,”

I’ve looked at your website and think we’d be a good match to work together. But I live on the East Coast. Is there anyway the phone could give us a solid enough connection?

Thanks,

Dan

A. Dear Dan,

Good question. The short answer is a resounding “yes!” Part of my training as a coach has been to listen more deeply than I ever used to—for words as well as for everything else that we use to communicate (energy, pauses, wonderings, etc.) I compare it to the skills that I imagine blind people must have to develop. Let me know if you’d like to run this question by my clients in Europe!

Be in touch,

Patty

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The Top Five Most Requested Articles From 2007

Here’s a list of the top five most requested–and used! articles from 2007.
If you’d like to request a copy, just click HERE and tell me which ones you would like me to send you.

1. “How to Have a Hard Conversation Softly”
2. “Four Ways to Set the Stage for a Great Relationship”
3. “The Six Stages of Change When You’re Re-Focusing Your Life”
4. “Getting to ‘Whoosh’: The Magic and Momentum of Inspired and Consistent and Well-Supported Effort”
5. “Finding an Amazing Intersection: What to Look for in a Great Job”

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My Top 5 Non-Food Christmas Delicacies

This month: My Top 5 Non-Food Christmas Delicacies

Welcome to my Monthly “Top 5.” Every month my goal is to roll out five tried-and-true ideas, observations, suggestions or hunches that you will find creative, useful and brief.

At Christmas, I turn into a committed softy. Over time, I’ve learned that it’s best to just indulge my sentimentality by whole-heartedly and intentionally watching, reading and listening to stuff that I know will help me to a) laugh, b) be child-like, c) have tears to my eyes and quietness to my heart or d) all of the above.

And I love recruiting others to join me.

Now that you know that about me, and maybe share my fondness for embracing human sweetness along with your Christmas cookies, this month I’m revealing my “Top 5 Non-Food Christmas Delicacies”:

1. I listen to John Henry Faulk’s ‘Christmas Story’. First recorded and played on National Public Radio over thirty-five years ago, they still get requests for it. Some think it’s a little politically incorrect, but it makes my list anyway. Every year. Here’s the link: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1115979. Bet you’ll cry too.
2. I watch “A Christmas Story”. Produced in 1983, it’s the story of a nine-year-old imaginative dreamer in the weeks before Christmas in the mid-1950s. This will make the most sense for you if you’re over forty-five years old. You’ll remember.
3. I read—aloud with friends if I can pull an audience together (takes about forty-five minutes)—The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. How do the ‘worst kids in the history of the world’ end up in the church Christmas pageant? And why can’t anyone stop them from participating? And how is it that everyone (including firefighters, church ladies, the Reverend and the sanctimonious) ends up calling it ‘the best Christmas pageant ever?’ The book is better than the movie. You’ll laugh.
4. I watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. First produced in 1965, the music is right up there in my book with my favorite Carols. If you want to follow along, the Christmas Story Linus reads is found in the Bible in Luke Chapter 2. If possible, watch this with a child.
5. And in case you thought she could only be a cynical wise cracker, a young Dorothy Parker wrote in 1928, “The Maid-Servant at the Inn.” (i.e. the inn that had no room for Mary and Joseph):

“It’s queer,” she said, “I see the light
As plain as I beheld it then,
All silver-like and calm and bright—
We’ve not had stars like that again!

“And she was such a gentle thing
To birth a baby in the cold.
The barn was dark and frightening—
This new one’s better than the old.

“I mind my eyes were full of tears,
For I was young, and quick distressed,
But she was less than me in years
That held a son against her breast.

“I never saw a sweeter child—
The little one, the darling one!—
I mind I told her when he smiled
You’d know he was his mother’s son.

“It’s queer that I should see them so—
The time they came to Bethlehem
Was more than thirty years ago;
I’ve prayed that all is well with them.”

Here’s to a Holiday season that invites us to experience all of the loveliness and poignancy of this wonderful life we’ve been given.

Now, since I’m a coach and always interested in action, email me one of your own favorite “delicacies”!

As always, you are welcome to call me and schedule a complimentary thirty minute conversation. We’ll talk about how a good coach could support and challenge you as you move into 2008.

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Practicing Thanksgiving Out Loud

This Month: My Top 5 Ways to Practice

Thanksgiving Out-Loud

Sometimes the Holidays have a tendency to be more external than internal—more busy and superficial than about our hearts and relationships. Of all the Holidays, I think our best chance to get it right is Thanksgiving.

Here are my “Top 5” ways to practice Thanksgiving out-loud in your relationships.

1. Acknowledge them. This means commenting on their character: the core that has helped them to create a life you admire. Call, write a note or just look them in the eye and tell them how cool you think they are.
2. Celebrate wins and milestones. This is where the toasts and the high-fives come in. (It’s possible to do this on the phone.)
3. Appreciate their effort and thoughtfulness. The more specific the better.
4. Believe and expect that these people have gifts for you. They do. Think about what you would look like if you walked in the door on Thanksgiving looking like you expected that.
5. And if you’re a person of faith, take yourself on a walk. And as you breathe in the crisp fall air, thank God for being an affectionate, challenging, creative and steady companion.

Now, since I’m a coach and always interested in action, I challenge you to be ready to take the risk of trying one of these when the moment comes. I guarantee it will–you will recognize it when it does.

As always, I’d welcome the chance to schedule a complimentary thirty minute conversation with you. We’ll talk about how a good coach could support and challenge you as you move ahead personally and professionally.

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Taming the Critical Voices in Your Head

As I work with smart, successful and motivated leaders, I’ve noticed that every one of them wrestles with an inner critic. This is a little nagging “gremlin” of a voice whose job is to resist real change. I bet you have one too.

Here are five common messages I hear from my clients’ “gremlins.”

1. “You’re not that (good, smart, disciplined, loveable, etc.)”

2. “ You’re too (old, young)”

3. “You’ve always been (a bad listener, impatient, sloppy with money, etc.)–it’s just the way you are”

4. “You can’t make a change in your career now—think of (your parents’ dreams for you, your mortgage, your years of education, etc.)”

5. “This is just too big of a challenge for you. You’ll (fail, be embarrassed, do something disastrous, etc.)”

These gremlin voices are persistent and can be convincing. Sometimes they even speak in the first-person voice. But they are not nearly as big and compelling as your soul’s truest, highest best voice—and if you’re a person of faith, they’re not as big as God’s either!

Here’s what I ask my clients to do with their critical voices: Give that voice something to do, some other place to be–imagine asking it to physically put itself elsewhere.

One of my clients is a pilot. A good one. She’s so good that her company gave her a new aircraft to fly. That’s when her critical voice got busy (see message #5). “So,” I said. “What do you want to say to that voice?” My smart, successful, motivated client thought for a moment and then, with a combination of authority and mischief, she said, “There’s an old airplane on the far side of the field that no one ever flies. When I’m getting ready for a flight in the new aircraft, I’m going to tell that gremlin to go sit in it, maybe make airplane noises. I can’t have him going up with me.”

Like this pilot, you may have to repeat the instructions frequently at first, but that critical voice in your head will comply, especially as you continue to move forward in the direction of the growth and challenge and change you desire.

Call me to schedule a complimentary thirty minute conversation. We’ll talk about how a good coach could support and challenge you as you move ahead.

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