The most important thing is what you do next . . .

So I’m waiting for the shuttle to get me to the airport for our fabulous return visit to the Motherland and the phone rings. It’s my traveling companion Mary with the mother of all visa problems and within moments it’s clear: We’re not going to Russia today.

I’ve told countless clients through the years, “The most important thing is what you do next.” I’m happy to report that in the moment, I sat down, paid attention to my breath and energy, made a decision not to yell at Mary and started thinking about what we could do next.

Thirty-six hours later Mary and I are having breakfast and visiting with Dr. Kari’s sister Michele in a little town near Berlin. Michele lives here and will get us on the train to Berlin in a little while. Turns out they are observing the twentieth anniversary of the fall of the Wall there too.

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How the Soviets made me a better coach

In the 1980s, I made several trips into the former Soviet Union to meet and work with students and professional people, and I was there in 1989 when, unbelievably, the Berlin Wall fell. The lessons and observations I absorbed in those days shaped my convictions as a coach of leaders and entrepreneurs. Next week an old friend and I will go back.

Here are six of my enduring lessons from that time:

 

1. Innovation happens when possibility or technique meet a market. Smart entrepreneurs seek advantages that they know to be mutually beneficial–usually with personal creativity and resourcefulness. The most vigorous and light-hearted people I met on the street in the 1980s were trying to buy my jeans and my shoes–and to sell me fur hats and Soviet paratrooper watches.
2. Affirm, acknowledge and reward what you want more of.The Soviets rewarded compliance and obedience. It’s even more powerful when the reward from a boss or a coach or a friend is an affirmation of your competence and dreams.
3. The search for meaning, contribution and satisfaction is steady and ultimately irresistible. The one and only time I was arrested in Russia, the interpreter whispered an urgent question when my interrogators weren’t listening, “Do you believe in God?”
4. Freedom, having options, connects to personal courage. Where there is possibility, encouragement, and a bit of risk, people explore and grow and get better. Two days after the fall of the Berlin Wall, I was scheduled to speak at the University of Leningrad. Instead of a discreet dozen students, a newly emboldened 200 showed up. We talked and debated for over three hours.
5. Too much of a good thing (in this case, government direction and control) connects to dependence, atrophy and resistance. A Russian political cartoon appeared a few weeks later. It said, “Workers of the world . . . we apologize”.
6. Choose colleagues that you laugh with. Especially when living in or even visiting a police state.

 

The Russians helped me to learn the difference between compliance and transformation. I’ll be twittering the lessons they still have for me during this twentieth anniversary return trip to what used to be Leningrad.

You can follow our progress on Twitter–and click here for more photos and history. And I hope you keep sharing your own insights on the blog.

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Got Goals? Part II

Last month I wondered about what (this fall) you want to create, invent, launch or instigate. I know it’s a theme I share with my favorite clients: always thinking about where the next place is to grow and learn and course-correct.

Here’s some of what I’ve heard:

• This fall I want to use my career transition time to build my business, but also feed my passions and activities.

• It always amazes me how relevant and timely your topics are for me. (This fall I’m thinking about) transformation and the art of letting concepts, habits, and ideas go that no longer serve us.

• My big goal for the fall is to get organized! Financially, physically, and mentally! I have made huge progress in all of these areas thanks to you Patty!! Thank you so much for believing in me

As for me, Russia Revisited is on. And it has inspired me to remember a lifelong lesson I learned twenty years ago from Russians–and with them:

Men and women, even with a long history of suffering, and control (from their own and other governments) have an almost gravitational pull toward curiosity, optimism and even faith and freedom.

I’m twittering about all of this–sign up here to follow our progress–and keep sharing your own.

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“Got Goals?”

It’s September tomorrow, a time when a lot of us think about what comes next–of what we want to create, invent, launch or instigate. I know it’s a theme I share with my favorite clients:always thinking about where the next place is to grow and learn and course-correct.

Here’s one of mine in a nutshell: It’s been twenty years since the Berlin Wall “came down” in November 1989. I was working at the time with students at the University of Leningrad when one of them, Andrei, ran up to me on Thursday, November 9 to tell me the news he’d heard on the BBC. Now, I’m a natural optimist, but after years of travel to and hassle from the former Soviet Union, I smiled condescendingly at sweet Andrei, just not believing his English was that good. You were right Andrei. By the next day, the whole world felt different.

So, fast-forward to a few weeks ago. I think, I’ve got to go back. I called my favorite traveling companion from those days, a comedienne named Mary (never visit a police state without one) and proposed a quick trip in November 2009. She instantly agreed and we are in the process of working through the required Russian red-tape (some things never change).

You know how some goals become engines that energize other goals? I think this trip is one of those. I’ll be blogging and twittering about the lessons and adventures and laughter that will accompany this trip. Sign up here to follow our progress.

How about your goals for this fall? Click here to send me one of your goals. I’ll include them in my October newsletter.

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“If you’re alive . . .”

One of my terrific clients told me yesterday that she has a “short, sure-fire test for determining whether your mission in life has been fulfilled.” I looked back, amused and waiting and she said simply, “If you’re alive, it hasn’t.”

I smiled back and thought about a story that comes back to me every July when one of these gorgeous summer days descends on us. I find myself quietly staring out at it, remembering the events and emotions of another July day in Colorado, over thirty years ago now.

I’d spent the day with friends on a ranch at the base of the Big Thompson Canyon, right where the Canyon, and its River, push together into the near vertical cliffs of the Narrows before opening up to the farmlands of Larimer County.

We laughed and played and ate our way through the day. But as we relaxed after dinner, something happened that changed our mood in a heartbeat. In the coming hours, my twenty-something heart would be reminded that there are forces bigger than me on the planet, and that I was, I am, here on purpose.

To read the rest of this story, click here.

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You may want to watch this repeatedly . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UE3CNu_rtY

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The new SeattleCoach website

One of my great coaches-in-training pulled me aside the other day and graciously pointed out that it might be time for me to update my website. Hmm. This site was brand new in the twentieth century and I just kept adding stuff . . . What was she implying?

Turns out that people have had to wade through a lot to find the answers and resources they’re looking for.

So, I thought about YOU–the friends, colleagues, clients and coaches who check out my site from time to time, looking for resources and info. Then I thought about what I want to offer and be known for in 2009. And I started reinventing.

I invite you to take a look sometime this month and let me know what you think.

Click here to see the Reinvention.

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“Not-Just-For-Profit”

What is the secret of your personal success? There are some standard answers: knowing your craft, knowing your audience, grit, hard work, vision. The men and women I’ve been training would add to that list stuff like meaning, contribution, making things better along with having fun and making money. In the words of the sage, Jerry Seinfeld, “You can’t do good work if you’re not excited.” In a recent interview I called my work “effortless hard work,” I think that’s because every day I get to learn new things, and every day I get to watch people find ways to make their lives a bit richer–even in this tough economic climate. I keep a running list of some of my favorite resources on my website.

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“Validation”

I loved this video–Bet you will too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

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The Next SeattleCoach Training Group Begins in April

The SeattleCoach Training Program is still in its first year and already our hallmarks are quality and community. The (amazing) leaders and managers who are a part of this program fall into three categories:

1. some come with the support of their organizations with the goal of returning to build strong internal “coaching cultures,”
2. some are considering a new career as a Professional Coach, and
3. some are already in a leadership role and are challenging themselves to “raise the bar” on their expertise as a manager.

If you are thinking about your own next steps, call me and we can talk about it.
FYI, the SeattleCoach Training Program includes seventy-four hours of coach-specific training and is accredited by the International Coach Federation.

(To post a comment, first click on the post headline).

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Coachable Issues

During the 1980s I spent a lot of time in the former Soviet Union, quietly running a student exchange program. In that bloated, bureaucratic police state and economic dead-zone, signs of life kept strolling up to me: Hip, young, hopeful Russians and Ukrainians who risked arrest or deportation just by talking with me and asking to buy my stuff and sell me theirs. The Soviets warned travelers again these “criminals,” and some were. But in general, their essential hustle and optimism in that tough economy were compelling to me. Fast-forward to another tough and unusual economy. We’ve all got less money and more anxiety than we did a year ago, but my phone keeps ringing. With a nod to some of my old Russian and Ukrainian acquaintances, here are a few of the top “Coach-able Issues” I’m working on with people:

1. Keeping your job by staying essential.
2. Getting really defined and deliberate about what you want to offer and how you want to offer it.
3. Staying positive and energized.
4. Staying connected to and networked with friends and allies.

As always, I’m leading lots of groups. Good groups are cost effective, supportive and, I believe, a little magical. I’ll be starting more “coach-able issues groups” in the coming month. Be in touch if you’d like to join with other great people to work on some of your own “coachable issues.”

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Here We Go Again

So here we are at the start of a new year with way less money than we had last January, and way more reasons to worry about big and little things. Depending on how you look at it, for most of us in the Northwest, the winter storms that hit us were either a disaster (“snow-mageddon!” “snow-pocalypse!”) or an inescapable slow-down for the holidays.

Not to sound too cheery, but the snow did remind me that it does come down to how you look at it.

One of my favorite clients observed last week that daily resolutions to live with intention and gratitude were making more sense to him than heroic new year’s resolutions. And I’m taking his advice for 2009.

Here’s my challenge to you. As your eyes open each morning, put a hand on your heart and take a deep breath. Take a few seconds to settle on a simple intention for the day–like laughing out-loud at least once–and another few seconds to give thanks for something or someone.

Maybe in the face of all the fearful news, we’ll cultivate a different way of seeing.

And if you’d like to try my slightly longer version a breathing-and-rebalancing exercise, just go to my website and then click on audio player at the top of the page.

Happy New Year. Really.

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A Five-Minute Holiday Oasis

Christmas is a time when I know I have to take a little extra time to breathe. Whether it’s good stress or the difficult kind, I get smarter and happier when I take a few minutes to “rebalance.”

I invite you to try an exercise I teach my coaching clients as they practice
breathing differently and “rebalancing” in the middle of these busy days. I can almost guarantee that your pulse will calm down, along with your blood pressure, and that you might even get a little smarter and happier too. To listen to my five-minute audio file, click here and then click on the Christmas tree that appears.

This has been a great year of learning and growth for me. To all of my clients, thank you for your trust. I love working with you and for you.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

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An Extraordinary Week

Yes, an extraordinary week. Maybe you’re among the elated. Maybe you’re with the dejecteds. After three days (so far) of conversations with people in both groups I see some common threads:

1. At either far ends of the spectrum is the sense that a political personality or persuasion gets the responsibility–along with the credit or the blame–for what happens next.
2. Also, I’ve noticed that the more we focus on news and opinion sources–without a break every few days–the more likely we’ll be to get polarized.
3. And the more polarized we get, the less likely we are to get new feedback.
4. And from my coach’s pov, now is when it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that no one else can finally fix or derail our lives or even our circumstances. My life with all of its complexity and shadows will always be my greatest resource, even as I grow more interdependent with others.

So. This weekend, I think I’ll turn off the news and combine fresh air with some of my favorite questions:

• What will you do next? What possibilities are now available to you?
• With whom will you spend more time?
• With whom will you reduce time?
• What are the core values that you feel passionately–and want to speak fluently–about?
• Will you speak of “the other side” as adversaries and objects? or as people with their own hopes and fears and wisdom?

Your thoughts?

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An October We Won’t Soon Forget

I bet you’re either glued to the news, or you’ve made yourself stop watching altogether. Personally I’ve made several resolutions this week—in both directions. As I write this on Friday afternoon, I’ve decided to watch for a minute—just in time to read, “DOW HAS IT’S WORST WEEK EVER.” Enough.

As I’ve met with clients and coaches-in-training this week, I’ve asked them how they’re doing in the midst of this perfect storm, and how they’re advising their own hearts. Here is some of what I’ve heard:

• “I don’t want my basic optimism about life to be a casualty, but that is taking extra attention—it takes my slowing down and listening more instead of reacting.”

• “I’ve got to make extra certain that I’m offering my best to my work. People will always want my best.”

• “My spouse and I talked last night about the values that keep us together as a team.”

• “Better not quit my day job yet.”

• “I’ve got to stop listening to that critical voice that’s yammering about woulda-coulda-shoulda. It doesn’t help—in fact, it makes me feel stuck.”

• “Moving toward work that I love is becoming more compelling—since I’ll probably be doing it for more years than I’d planned.”

If you’ve got a bit of your own wisdom, angst, questions to add to the list, please do.

Until next month.

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Thank you Banner Burgin

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Banner Burgin, therapy dog and canine coach, passed away on Saturday, August 30. She died like we’d all like to—she was happy and taking old-dog walks on Tuesday, but collapsed on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday, she welcomed visitors who came to sit on the floor with her, touching her, and telling her repeatedly how good she was. The last part to slow down continued to wag every hour or so. Then, this morning we said goodbye.

In October her ashes will blow down the beach at Oysterville with the same happy, frantic, random purpose in which she used to run.

To read the full story and see some of my favorite pics, check out her webpage: http://www.seattlecoach.com/banner.html

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How to be a Vigorous Geezer

I listened a few days ago to an interview with an 83-year-old self-described geezer (aka “sage”) in the world of leadership development, Warren Bennis. He is currently Professor and founding chair of The Leadership Institute at the University of Southern California, and the author of 29 books. He brought up a subject I’ve thought about for at least thirty years: What can I do now that will lead to my growing into an optimistic, generous and vigorous geezer?

No one gets to his/her eighties without weathering a few difficult, life-defining events. So what makes some geezers hopeful, optimistic, challenged (and challenging) and “open to the unbidden?”

Just as important, what habits can pre-geezers build into our lives now so that our eyebrows are still up when we begin our eighth or ninth decade of life?

Acknowledging that he was “no longer on the varsity”, he talked about how he continues to contribute via “what life has pulled out of me.” I picked out four suggestions to pass along to you:

1. Use your creativity to inspire and your mind to invent; keeping asking, “What is possible?”
2. Make yourself not alone,
3. Be a first-class noticer and responder; practice just being aware,
4. Start now to diminish drivenness.

My own personal action point? To let my life keep growing, knowing that if I have to let go of something I used to be great at, I’ll be making room for some new adventure to take its place.

Eyebrows up!

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Announcing a New SeattleCoach Training Group

Do you already feel like a coach yourself?

Many of the leaders, managers, pastors and counselors I’m in touch with resonate with my work because they are called on to use coaching skills in their own work.

So this year I launched my first SeattleCoach Training Group with five accomplished, strengths-based and optimistic professionals.

And I will soon launch a second group. If you are a manager, leader, pastor or counselor who is ready to expand your expertise with a solid and practical grip on the essentials of good coaching, this could be for you.

Contact me directly for an informational interview.

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Coachable Issues: Getting Unstuck

I’m an executive and personal coach. And business people who long to be more accomplished communicators keep showing up in my office—managers, marketers and masterminds.

I love their imagination and energy, their devotion to their craft, and their commitment to employees, colleagues and customers. And I get it when they’re frustrated and stuck–when their internal and/or external communication efforts get sluggish. As it turns out, being stuck is a very coachable issue.

Success rarely comes in a blinding flash, nor do most people stumble upon it. If you’re reading this, you know that you’ve chosen the conditions for your success, over and over again, in thin slices. And now, after hundreds of good decisions and choices (and a few duds) about your colleagues, your values and the integrated balance between your work and the rest of your life you know from experience what I’m talking about.

But even successful people hit stuck spots.

Sometimes the stuck place is in your physical environment. So I get curious with people about that “slice”: The what, where, when and how of your work. Together, we design experiments that will widen your assumptions and awareness: “Just because (fill in the name of your favorite business leader or writer here) does it that way . . .”

Sometimes the stuck place is elsewhere in your life, so we explore those slices too. These are Seven Questions I get the most revealing answers to:

1. To whom and for whom are you directing your message?
2. How is your support system?
3. Would a little coaching on the craft of communication help?
4. How’s your sense of mission and contribution in your life and work? Big enough?
5. What do you get excited about?
6. Are you worried about money?
7. How’s your fitness?

And we use deadlines as goals. Whether it’s your weekly staff meeting, an upcoming networking event, a pitch, an article for Biznik or the emotional goal of publishing a great personal story by the end of the year, we use those deadlines to pull us forward.

Like a lot of people in Seattle, one of my favorite clients, Mike, was resplendently gifted, great at his craft and making enough money. But like a lot of people in Seattle, Mike had gotten a little bored and felt sluggish in his communication as a leader in his business. His people were inspirable and responsive, his relationship was solid, the money was fine, and he told me, “I think I’m happy, but it’s been a long time since I was excited. I wonder what kind of legacy I’m leaving.” Mike’s fortieth birthday was right around the corner—“halfway through.”

I asked Mike to spend some quality time with my Seven Questions, and then, based on his answers, we collaborated on some clear goals and got to work.

Whether or not you think of yourself as a communicator, I bet you’ve experienced being “stuck” personally or professionally. Carve out some time to hang out with my Seven Questions. And let me know which ones stop you and then challenge you.

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Coach-able Issues

Last month one of you guys wrote to ask, “Patty, I get the difference between coaching and mental health counseling. But what do you think of as a ‘coach-able’ issue?”

Instantly, a bunch of well-loved faces (and their “coach-able” issues) came to my mind. Here’s one of them . . .

New client Dave called me last month feeling derailed on his career path. A director at one of Seattle’s big companies, he’d felt on track to become a vice president. But that morning his boss had told him, nope, no VP job was in the works for him. Yet.

But his boss also made him an interesting offer: She’d pay for him to come see me for a few months. Clearly, the boss values Dave and not only wants to keep him on board, but to invest in him as a leader with potential. This is executive coaching and it’s full of “Coach-able” goals.

Both Dave and his boss are involved and excited about the goals we’ve set. We’re getting feedback from the people who work with and report to him and I can tell Dave’s pleased and honored with this opportunity. Already I see him changing his life and professional performance (and satisfaction!).

I’ll write more about “coachable-goals” next time. If you think you’ve got one, call me for a free consultation

Quote of the month: Vocation “is that place where your great joy meets the world’s great need.”
Fredrick Buechner

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